What? Are you embarrassed to be seen walking through the streets holding hands with a pug dog?

You’re that dirty cop everyone’s talking about. Dirty Dave or something.

Hey, have you guys ever heard about the time I got stuck waiting for a train, and all of these crackpots started telling their crazy stories?

Oh George, you don’t understand Chaos Theory at all! When you weren’t born, it caused the creation of a WHOLE DIFFERENT TIMELINE.

From the people who brought you peanut butter and jelly in a single substance.

A dog barks. Bark is part of a tree. Females are beautiful and absolute zero is the temperature at which all molecular activity stops, so thanks for the compliment.

Kids share their funny (and touching) thoughts.